In a land far, far away lived a young, confident woman. Seeing all the possibilities around her, she found a gorgeous purple bikini that she wore on a cruise around the Bahamas. Life was fun, opportunities were infinite and that purple bikini followed her every summer from beach to beach.
Then one day the young woman met a prince from a far away land. She started a brand new life with the prince -- and soon little ones sprung from this wonderful union. New opportunities presented themselves but the confident, purple bikini-clad woman began to fade. She allowed herself to be defined by others, to lose her identity and with that she cloaked herself in a new shape -- and this shape had no room for her gorgeous purple bikini.
An angel message came to this woman one day -- who have you been created to be? What is your identity? Live the life you’ve been chosen to live! The woman woke up and with that, she was presented with the right people in her life -- to help her understand nutrition, push herself beyond her comfort zone, love herself completely and be confident in the woman she had become (beyond the roles of wife, mom, sister, friend). She realized she was the Daughter of the King and decided to live that way.
So what did the woman do this southern hemisphere summer? She slipped into her purple bikini - two kids in tow - and looked and felt the way she did all those years ago. She lay, looking out at the sea and thinking wow, this is the beginning of a life that was in hibernation. Welcome back, purple bikini woman. It’s good to see you again!
I am the bikini woman... obviously. This journey, this Holiday Health Challenge has given me an incredible opportunity to find myself again. And what I’ve found is a strong woman -- one who ran a 5km in the rain; and then ran a 7km the following day; one who hikes, salsa dances and swims. This is the woman I have always been. I had just put on layers of self-doubt, insecurity, heaviness = weight. In recognizing my true worth as an individual, I was given all the amazing resources to make that change. That change being to find myself again and start living the life I was made to live.
My friend who encouraged me to sign up for the Holiday Health Challenge made two definite predictions: You will get to your goal and beyond; You will go to South Africa feeling amazing and will be able to determine your next goals. Well, she was oh so right! It seemed like a pipe-dream, 23pounds ago. But when I slipped into that purple bikini, right where I’d last worn it 5 years ago, I knew that I was back. My true self had returned.
A relative said to me last week: Welcome back. It’s good to see you again.
I am back. And I’m here to stay.
Thank you to withu and all the resources available to help us reach our full potential. Thank you to my husband, sister and incredible friends who held my hand through this. I could not have found myself again without your selflessness. Ke lebogile... I am deeply thankful.
-- Trailwalker --
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Vigilance
OK, holiday season is really travel season...
Airplanes; jet-lag; parties; eating out... Mm-hhmm
This week I'm visiting family and friends in sunny South Africa. My trip has included the above and more. I'm having a terrific time, but the question is: how do I stay vigilant with all the changes to my routine?
Simple answer: Portion-Control.
I decided that if I'm going to enjoy all the goodies and fun associated with being here, it's important to stick to certain behavioral patterns that have worked these past few months. Eating 1,300 calories has an amazing effect (after enduring the first week): YOUR TUMMY SHRINKS! Yay!!
I look at the food in front of me and know that even if I'm sharing one serving of pasta, it's simply too much food! So, I've been able to enjoy all the goodies by sharing with my sister. I will say though that I did try wolfing down more than I'm used to and man, my tummy was on fire!! That totally took the joy out of the meal. NOT WORTH IT! SO, I decided to stick to what has become my way of living and am much more satisfied!
I even did a shortened version of my core workouts this morning- it felt great! My son teasingly asked: Mom, whatcha doing? My reply: What I always do. He had a satisfied smile, as if to say: some things remain constant.
A friend who's kept her weight off for over 10 years told me one piece of advice: Stay vigilant -- don't take your eye off the ball.
I have been thinking about that. I'm 22 pounds down now - 15 more to go!! SO, I can't let this vacation and change of schedule affect my goal. Yes, everyone's very complimentary on my progress thus far, but I have to keep my eye on the ball.
Vigilance.
That's the ultimate pay off.
---Trailwalker---
Airplanes; jet-lag; parties; eating out... Mm-hhmm
This week I'm visiting family and friends in sunny South Africa. My trip has included the above and more. I'm having a terrific time, but the question is: how do I stay vigilant with all the changes to my routine?
Simple answer: Portion-Control.
I decided that if I'm going to enjoy all the goodies and fun associated with being here, it's important to stick to certain behavioral patterns that have worked these past few months. Eating 1,300 calories has an amazing effect (after enduring the first week): YOUR TUMMY SHRINKS! Yay!!
I look at the food in front of me and know that even if I'm sharing one serving of pasta, it's simply too much food! So, I've been able to enjoy all the goodies by sharing with my sister. I will say though that I did try wolfing down more than I'm used to and man, my tummy was on fire!! That totally took the joy out of the meal. NOT WORTH IT! SO, I decided to stick to what has become my way of living and am much more satisfied!
I even did a shortened version of my core workouts this morning- it felt great! My son teasingly asked: Mom, whatcha doing? My reply: What I always do. He had a satisfied smile, as if to say: some things remain constant.
A friend who's kept her weight off for over 10 years told me one piece of advice: Stay vigilant -- don't take your eye off the ball.
I have been thinking about that. I'm 22 pounds down now - 15 more to go!! SO, I can't let this vacation and change of schedule affect my goal. Yes, everyone's very complimentary on my progress thus far, but I have to keep my eye on the ball.
Vigilance.
That's the ultimate pay off.
---Trailwalker---
Friday, December 3, 2010
Milestones
We’ve all had them. An event or achievement that marks an important stage IN A PROCESS (Macmillan Dictionary).
I especially like the last part -- the process, the journey. Often, we look at the obstacle(s) and think it’s near impossible. That was me and the dam* dam I mentioned in my first blog.
The first time I went up this hill I kept asking the walkers breezing down how far it was to the top. I remember asking a British lady how she could do it. She replied: “You can do it, just put in a little Michael Jackson** and you’ll get there!” OK, I appreciated the vote of confidence but all I heard was ‘Beat It’ -- you have no business attempting this!! That first time, I didn’t get all the way to the top.
But I went back and back and yes, back again. I got to the point where I could slowly push myself... then the double stroller up to the dam, without saying dam*! But always, no matter how hard I thought I was pushing, my husband would be way ahead of me. I’d be heaving, doing my personal best; keeping my pace and eventually getting there.
That was months ago.
This past Wednesday, something had shifted. I power-hiked the dam WITH my husband, keeping his pace without feeling winded! His comment: Finally, we can hike together! The real thrill was getting to the top and jogging further up the hill to reach the golf course and continuing on down. I could hear MJ crooning -- ‘She’s Bad!’
OK, so this achievement, this event highlighted the other milestone I reached this week: 20 POUNDS DOWN, BABY! Right here in front of me, the journey is taking beautiful shape. Right now, there’s so much satisfaction. It’s called freedom. I can hike at a reasonable pace; run up stairs and inclines to fetch my son in record time; act like a grown-up 5-year-old at kindermusik by jumping up & down while jamming with my kids; enjoy a power-hike with hubby.... Absolute freedom is limitless!
A friend told me that her workout guru once said: “Nothing tastes as good as slim feels.” I would say “nothing tastes as good as strength & freedom feel.” Wow!
This is an amazing process. I’m still on the journey. But yes, ‘The (Wo)man in the Mirror’ has changed her ways -- “if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change” MJ counsels.
Most def.
**Apologies to those affected by my unabashed referral to MJ. I’m not even a fan... not really...
I especially like the last part -- the process, the journey. Often, we look at the obstacle(s) and think it’s near impossible. That was me and the dam* dam I mentioned in my first blog.
The first time I went up this hill I kept asking the walkers breezing down how far it was to the top. I remember asking a British lady how she could do it. She replied: “You can do it, just put in a little Michael Jackson** and you’ll get there!” OK, I appreciated the vote of confidence but all I heard was ‘Beat It’ -- you have no business attempting this!! That first time, I didn’t get all the way to the top.
But I went back and back and yes, back again. I got to the point where I could slowly push myself... then the double stroller up to the dam, without saying dam*! But always, no matter how hard I thought I was pushing, my husband would be way ahead of me. I’d be heaving, doing my personal best; keeping my pace and eventually getting there.
That was months ago.
This past Wednesday, something had shifted. I power-hiked the dam WITH my husband, keeping his pace without feeling winded! His comment: Finally, we can hike together! The real thrill was getting to the top and jogging further up the hill to reach the golf course and continuing on down. I could hear MJ crooning -- ‘She’s Bad!’
OK, so this achievement, this event highlighted the other milestone I reached this week: 20 POUNDS DOWN, BABY! Right here in front of me, the journey is taking beautiful shape. Right now, there’s so much satisfaction. It’s called freedom. I can hike at a reasonable pace; run up stairs and inclines to fetch my son in record time; act like a grown-up 5-year-old at kindermusik by jumping up & down while jamming with my kids; enjoy a power-hike with hubby.... Absolute freedom is limitless!
A friend told me that her workout guru once said: “Nothing tastes as good as slim feels.” I would say “nothing tastes as good as strength & freedom feel.” Wow!
This is an amazing process. I’m still on the journey. But yes, ‘The (Wo)man in the Mirror’ has changed her ways -- “if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change” MJ counsels.
Most def.
**Apologies to those affected by my unabashed referral to MJ. I’m not even a fan... not really...
Friday, November 26, 2010
Gratitude
“Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks.
Action expresses more gratitude than speech.”
M.B.Eddy
Action: A thing done; a deed (Webster’s, 1828)
Deep words.
Gratitude is beyond saying ‘thanks’ -- it’s about DOING something.
OK the Thanksgiving holiday is a time to gather with loved ones and reflect on how amazing the year has been. AND Yes, it’s an opportunity to break some serious bread (and some waistlines:))! Or should I say, an excuse to do the latter!
The process began three months before the Holiday Health Challenge. It took going to the depths to realize that I was unique and here to live out who I was created to be. That was the real starting point. The different ‘roles’ and ‘titles’ that I’d worn were not me. Just stage acting. The true fire, exuberance, beauty, fulfillment, joy was really in acknowledging this identity and choosing to live it. This was huge for me. Huge. I was SO grateful to finally know this. How did I show my thanks? By DOING something about it. I was led to the right circumstances -- people, resources, knowledge, opportunities. All this started me on this path to living out the me I was always meant to be.
My deed: KEEP GOING.
Help others. Share what I’m learning.
Remain joyful.
O beautiful day!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Obstacles
There’s this great...here it comes...TRAIL I walk with friends (NO, she didn’t! uh-huh, I did:)). Towards the end of it we meet this huge obstacle course that we always fantasize about: get a party of friends together and do it! Why? Because it’s adventurous, would stretch us and heck, it looks like fun!!
Life’s obstacles...? They definitely stretch us, they’re sometimes adventurous but are generally only fun when we look back at them.
My obstacle this week has been moving! Yes, the grind of packing, sorting, dusting, stuffing boxes and general chaos!
The stretch -- sticking to the health challenge schedule while packing.
So, I was trying to complete the 1,000 steps challenge (whoa!) after doing core exercises. I failed to count my initial attempt, but given the amount of sweat that suddenly appeared, I’d say it was 100. I continued on while a sweet but nagging little voice kept asking: Mommy, you done? My 3.5 year old was sitting, patiently watching me and thinking: Given the sweat and panting, she’s done. Surely, I can go home & get my hot dogs now!
350... (gasp) In a minute honey...370... Mommy, I show you (cue for: OK, enough now, let’s go!)...425... Mommy, there’s sister (his baby sister that was now getting in on the action)...550... MOMMY!!!...600! OK, I finally gave up. Saved by the kid! Running up and down for 1,000 steps seemed OK until I attempted it -- with added pressure from the little chorus! Big stretch. I may not have done 1,000, but I certainly felt a sense of accomplishment! Chomping hot dogs and stuffing more brown boxes followed.
The adventure -- keeping tabs on the food intake!! I thought I’d be ‘clever’ and eat steamed veggies & a protein in order to speed things up. WRONG!!! What happened was by Sunday I was hungry for TASTY food and ended up eating Thai for 3 days! (Portions were in check - I ate the same meal for those days). Still!! When I weighed in, the weight-loss wasn’t dramatic!! Since everything’s a mess at home, it’s been an adventure keeping the structure within the chaos! I’ve found eating Japanese salmon rolls a great solution: 110 calories and delicious! Also, I baked some veggies along with the protein - the spices and olive oil made all the difference!! I will probably have Thai again, but it won’t be due to deprivation -- just a convenient alternative.
The fun -- the joy of continuing to do core, hike, run and power walk with friends or with the kids. Just knowing that in the midst of the packing, dust, boxes, I could still make this a priority and get it done has been exhilarating!
OK -- off to my 7am workout before the movers come!
Trailwalker
Life’s obstacles...? They definitely stretch us, they’re sometimes adventurous but are generally only fun when we look back at them.
My obstacle this week has been moving! Yes, the grind of packing, sorting, dusting, stuffing boxes and general chaos!
The stretch -- sticking to the health challenge schedule while packing.
So, I was trying to complete the 1,000 steps challenge (whoa!) after doing core exercises. I failed to count my initial attempt, but given the amount of sweat that suddenly appeared, I’d say it was 100. I continued on while a sweet but nagging little voice kept asking: Mommy, you done? My 3.5 year old was sitting, patiently watching me and thinking: Given the sweat and panting, she’s done. Surely, I can go home & get my hot dogs now!
350... (gasp) In a minute honey...370... Mommy, I show you (cue for: OK, enough now, let’s go!)...425... Mommy, there’s sister (his baby sister that was now getting in on the action)...550... MOMMY!!!...600! OK, I finally gave up. Saved by the kid! Running up and down for 1,000 steps seemed OK until I attempted it -- with added pressure from the little chorus! Big stretch. I may not have done 1,000, but I certainly felt a sense of accomplishment! Chomping hot dogs and stuffing more brown boxes followed.
The adventure -- keeping tabs on the food intake!! I thought I’d be ‘clever’ and eat steamed veggies & a protein in order to speed things up. WRONG!!! What happened was by Sunday I was hungry for TASTY food and ended up eating Thai for 3 days! (Portions were in check - I ate the same meal for those days). Still!! When I weighed in, the weight-loss wasn’t dramatic!! Since everything’s a mess at home, it’s been an adventure keeping the structure within the chaos! I’ve found eating Japanese salmon rolls a great solution: 110 calories and delicious! Also, I baked some veggies along with the protein - the spices and olive oil made all the difference!! I will probably have Thai again, but it won’t be due to deprivation -- just a convenient alternative.
The fun -- the joy of continuing to do core, hike, run and power walk with friends or with the kids. Just knowing that in the midst of the packing, dust, boxes, I could still make this a priority and get it done has been exhilarating!
OK -- off to my 7am workout before the movers come!
Trailwalker
Friday, November 12, 2010
Self Worth Can't Be Weighed
"Self-worth can never be accurately weighed on another's scale," read my hot pink T-shirt. Profound words. Truthfully? I wore it for its fashionista value, rather than truly resonating with its message.
The words came to mean more and more as I matured (...I'm still in the process!!):
You cannot allow others to determine your worth. You have to find it for yourself - and claim it.
It was no coincidence that the conference organizers chose the words "weigh" and "scale" on T-shirts for college-age women. "Negative body image" and "women" can probably be found under the same definition in Wikipedia. I had a roommate who hardly ate; but I consistently saw "Reese's" wrappings in our trash bin. When I confronted her, she confessed that she was bulimic. She was just one of the many incredible women I met that were shackled by the imposed image of another's scale -- parents; boyfriends; peer groups.
Ok. What about my scale? Have I let others weigh it? Most def! "The bigger boned one", "The heavier set one", "Big, like her dad's sisters." I've heard it all. And honestly, I accepted it. Even when I was thinner there was a "fat girl" warring to bust out. Then my sister got me to look back at my pictures up until my first pregnancy. I wasn't big at all!! All this time I had allowed others to define me, when the evidence was right in front of me! Ding-ding: the false image that I have been lugging around for the past 3 years has never been me!! It was time to wake up; get on that scale, see MY weight and face up to it.
The numbers were... well, you know...:). But let me tell you what my scale told me this week: that I have lost 14 pounds since mid-October. So, in less than one full month I am a third away from my goal weight!
So, what have I been doing? Calorie counting baby! I told you about my chocolate muffins and choc chip cookies...mm-hhmm... I got the skinny on one cookie: 370 calories! That's a whole meal!! I'm consuming 1,300 calories a day, which is 350 per meal and 250 for snacks. Yes, the first week was rough! But low fat plain yoghurt helped stave off the hunger. I write down every morsel I put in my mouth, helping keep me on track! For exercise: 45min-1hour of core 3x a week; running/walking/hiking min. 1 hour 6x a week. It's fun, challenging and oh so satisfying.
Step by step... My self worth is on MY scale now - and I like what it's telling me!
The words came to mean more and more as I matured (...I'm still in the process!!):
You cannot allow others to determine your worth. You have to find it for yourself - and claim it.
It was no coincidence that the conference organizers chose the words "weigh" and "scale" on T-shirts for college-age women. "Negative body image" and "women" can probably be found under the same definition in Wikipedia. I had a roommate who hardly ate; but I consistently saw "Reese's" wrappings in our trash bin. When I confronted her, she confessed that she was bulimic. She was just one of the many incredible women I met that were shackled by the imposed image of another's scale -- parents; boyfriends; peer groups.
Ok. What about my scale? Have I let others weigh it? Most def! "The bigger boned one", "The heavier set one", "Big, like her dad's sisters." I've heard it all. And honestly, I accepted it. Even when I was thinner there was a "fat girl" warring to bust out. Then my sister got me to look back at my pictures up until my first pregnancy. I wasn't big at all!! All this time I had allowed others to define me, when the evidence was right in front of me! Ding-ding: the false image that I have been lugging around for the past 3 years has never been me!! It was time to wake up; get on that scale, see MY weight and face up to it.
The numbers were... well, you know...:). But let me tell you what my scale told me this week: that I have lost 14 pounds since mid-October. So, in less than one full month I am a third away from my goal weight!
So, what have I been doing? Calorie counting baby! I told you about my chocolate muffins and choc chip cookies...mm-hhmm... I got the skinny on one cookie: 370 calories! That's a whole meal!! I'm consuming 1,300 calories a day, which is 350 per meal and 250 for snacks. Yes, the first week was rough! But low fat plain yoghurt helped stave off the hunger. I write down every morsel I put in my mouth, helping keep me on track! For exercise: 45min-1hour of core 3x a week; running/walking/hiking min. 1 hour 6x a week. It's fun, challenging and oh so satisfying.
Step by step... My self worth is on MY scale now - and I like what it's telling me!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Moments
'First I was dying to finish my high school and start college;
And then I was dying to finish college and start working;
Then I was dying to marry and have children;
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work; But then I was dying to retire;
And now I am dying...
And suddenly I realized I forgot to live" Anonymous
Moments.
Ok, so I'm running or power walking up a hill and I let my mind wander -- thinner thighs; ohhh when will this be over; will I even make it; this is killing me...-- totally forgetting all the incredible glory around me! Then I realize: Hold up, where was I? Sleeping?
Sleep-running. Sleep-walking. Chasing after the big goal without taking in what is happening NOW.
Sometimes being awake, i.e. living for me is just breathing and "one foot in front of the other" is what I need. But I'm there. Present. Trudging uphill, but knowing that I am fully enriched and rewarded for sticking with it.
Today I ran in the rain. That focus is all it took...besides, Bono insisting, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, in my ear! Funny, I took faster steps everytime he reminded me of that! But I took it in. Step-by-step I rejoiced in the freedom and ability to be out there, running in the rain.
After hiking for about 6 miles with two lovely friends yesterday, I felt the same sense of satisfaction. In those moments I was able to take in the tiny, bright yellow flowers greeting the morning glory. Bono didn't have to remind me. EVERYTHING around me screamed it loud and clear!
OK, so I will be more beautiful, more satisfied, more fulfilled, a better wife, mother, friend, sister after I reach my goal weight right? To me, I would have missed the present moments that are the real transformation: persevering, impregnable, expanding beyond my comfort zone (climbing children's monkey bars - petrified but unharmed!!:)).
The ability to experience the beauty, satisfaction, fulfillment, wholeness is NOW. Because beneath all the fictitious layers I've lathered myself in (hhmm lather... batter...), I am still awesome. Today. And man, what fun to see myself stretch and commit. I saw that today. Now. I'm living it. And heck, I am Loving it.
Trailwalker
And then I was dying to finish college and start working;
Then I was dying to marry and have children;
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work; But then I was dying to retire;
And now I am dying...
And suddenly I realized I forgot to live" Anonymous
Moments.
Ok, so I'm running or power walking up a hill and I let my mind wander -- thinner thighs; ohhh when will this be over; will I even make it; this is killing me...-- totally forgetting all the incredible glory around me! Then I realize: Hold up, where was I? Sleeping?
Sleep-running. Sleep-walking. Chasing after the big goal without taking in what is happening NOW.
Sometimes being awake, i.e. living for me is just breathing and "one foot in front of the other" is what I need. But I'm there. Present. Trudging uphill, but knowing that I am fully enriched and rewarded for sticking with it.
Today I ran in the rain. That focus is all it took...besides, Bono insisting, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, in my ear! Funny, I took faster steps everytime he reminded me of that! But I took it in. Step-by-step I rejoiced in the freedom and ability to be out there, running in the rain.
After hiking for about 6 miles with two lovely friends yesterday, I felt the same sense of satisfaction. In those moments I was able to take in the tiny, bright yellow flowers greeting the morning glory. Bono didn't have to remind me. EVERYTHING around me screamed it loud and clear!
OK, so I will be more beautiful, more satisfied, more fulfilled, a better wife, mother, friend, sister after I reach my goal weight right? To me, I would have missed the present moments that are the real transformation: persevering, impregnable, expanding beyond my comfort zone (climbing children's monkey bars - petrified but unharmed!!:)).
The ability to experience the beauty, satisfaction, fulfillment, wholeness is NOW. Because beneath all the fictitious layers I've lathered myself in (hhmm lather... batter...), I am still awesome. Today. And man, what fun to see myself stretch and commit. I saw that today. Now. I'm living it. And heck, I am Loving it.
Trailwalker
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