Self Worth Can't Be Weighed

"Self-worth can never be accurately weighed on another's scale," read my hot pink T-shirt. Profound words. Truthfully? I wore it for its fashionista value, rather than truly resonating with its message.

The words came to mean more and more as I matured (...I'm still in the process!!):

You cannot allow others to determine your worth. You have to find it for yourself - and claim it.

It was no coincidence that the conference organizers chose the words "weigh" and "scale" on T-shirts for college-age women. "Negative body image" and "women" can probably be found under the same definition in Wikipedia. I had a roommate who hardly ate; but I consistently saw "Reese's" wrappings in our trash bin. When I confronted her, she confessed that she was bulimic. She was just one of the many incredible women I met that were shackled by the imposed image of another's scale -- parents; boyfriends; peer groups.

Ok. What about my scale? Have I let others weigh it? Most def! "The bigger boned one", "The heavier set one", "Big, like her dad's sisters." I've heard it all. And honestly, I accepted it. Even when I was thinner there was a "fat girl" warring to bust out. Then my sister got me to look back at my pictures up until my first pregnancy. I wasn't big at all!! All this time I had allowed others to define me, when the evidence was right in front of me! Ding-ding: the false image that I have been lugging around for the past 3 years has never been me!! It was time to wake up; get on that scale, see MY weight and face up to it.

The numbers were... well, you know...:). But let me tell you what my scale told me this week: that I have lost 14 pounds since mid-October. So, in less than one full month I am a third away from my goal weight!

So, what have I been doing? Calorie counting baby! I told you about my chocolate muffins and choc chip cookies...mm-hhmm... I got the skinny on one cookie: 370 calories! That's a whole meal!! I'm consuming 1,300 calories a day, which is 350 per meal and 250 for snacks. Yes, the first week was rough! But low fat plain yoghurt helped stave off the hunger. I write down every morsel I put in my mouth, helping keep me on track! For exercise: 45min-1hour of core 3x a week; running/walking/hiking min. 1 hour 6x a week. It's fun, challenging and oh so satisfying.

Step by step... My self worth is on MY scale now - and I like what it's telling me!