Gratitude

“Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks.

Action expresses more gratitude than speech.”

M.B.Eddy

Action: A thing done; a deed (Webster’s, 1828)

Deep words.

Gratitude is beyond saying ‘thanks’ -- it’s about DOING something.

OK the Thanksgiving holiday is a time to gather with loved ones and reflect on how amazing the year has been. AND Yes, it’s an opportunity to break some serious bread (and some waistlines:))! Or should I say, an excuse to do the latter!

How has my gratitude translated into DOING something?

The process began three months before the Holiday Health Challenge. It took going to the depths to realize that I was unique and here to live out who I was created to be. That was the real starting point. The different ‘roles’ and ‘titles’ that I’d worn were not me. Just stage acting. The true fire, exuberance, beauty, fulfillment, joy was really in acknowledging this identity and choosing to live it. This was huge for me. Huge. I was SO grateful to finally know this. How did I show my thanks? By DOING something about it. I was led to the right circumstances -- people, resources, knowledge, opportunities. All this started me on this path to living out the me I was always meant to be.

My deeds? Sticking to the plan. Counting calories; working out; incorporating core; appreciating all the strength, ability and good. That’s how I’ve been expressing my thanks. And it’s been fun!!

This Thanksgiving I’m making a low-cal pecan pie! Never thought it existed!! Motive: give others what is befitting you. It’s natural to treat others the way you treat yourself, because you know how enriching that is. Another deed.

Yes, this year I am grateful I can fit into my little green dress, purchased 4 sizes too small after my second pregnancy! Grateful that I am strong enough to run and walk pushing a double stroller without feeling winded! Grateful that I’m surrounded by family and friends - both here and on skype!

My deed: KEEP GOING.

Help others. Share what I’m learning.

Remain joyful.

O beautiful day!

Obstacles

There’s this great...here it comes...TRAIL I walk with friends (NO, she didn’t! uh-huh, I did:)). Towards the end of it we meet this huge obstacle course that we always fantasize about: get a party of friends together and do it! Why? Because it’s adventurous, would stretch us and heck, it looks like fun!!

Life’s obstacles...? They definitely stretch us, they’re sometimes adventurous but are generally only fun when we look back at them.

My obstacle this week has been moving! Yes, the grind of packing, sorting, dusting, stuffing boxes and general chaos!

The stretch -- sticking to the health challenge schedule while packing.

So, I was trying to complete the 1,000 steps challenge (whoa!) after doing core exercises. I failed to count my initial attempt, but given the amount of sweat that suddenly appeared, I’d say it was 100. I continued on while a sweet but nagging little voice kept asking: Mommy, you done? My 3.5 year old was sitting, patiently watching me and thinking: Given the sweat and panting, she’s done. Surely, I can go home & get my hot dogs now!

350... (gasp) In a minute honey...370... Mommy, I show you (cue for: OK, enough now, let’s go!)...425... Mommy, there’s sister (his baby sister that was now getting in on the action)...550... MOMMY!!!...600! OK, I finally gave up. Saved by the kid! Running up and down for 1,000 steps seemed OK until I attempted it -- with added pressure from the little chorus! Big stretch. I may not have done 1,000, but I certainly felt a sense of accomplishment! Chomping hot dogs and stuffing more brown boxes followed.

The adventure -- keeping tabs on the food intake!! I thought I’d be ‘clever’ and eat steamed veggies & a protein in order to speed things up. WRONG!!! What happened was by Sunday I was hungry for TASTY food and ended up eating Thai for 3 days! (Portions were in check - I ate the same meal for those days). Still!! When I weighed in, the weight-loss wasn’t dramatic!! Since everything’s a mess at home, it’s been an adventure keeping the structure within the chaos! I’ve found eating Japanese salmon rolls a great solution: 110 calories and delicious! Also, I baked some veggies along with the protein - the spices and olive oil made all the difference!! I will probably have Thai again, but it won’t be due to deprivation -- just a convenient alternative.

The fun -- the joy of continuing to do core, hike, run and power walk with friends or with the kids. Just knowing that in the midst of the packing, dust, boxes, I could still make this a priority and get it done has been exhilarating!

OK -- off to my 7am workout before the movers come!


Trailwalker

Self Worth Can't Be Weighed

"Self-worth can never be accurately weighed on another's scale," read my hot pink T-shirt. Profound words. Truthfully? I wore it for its fashionista value, rather than truly resonating with its message.

The words came to mean more and more as I matured (...I'm still in the process!!):

You cannot allow others to determine your worth. You have to find it for yourself - and claim it.

It was no coincidence that the conference organizers chose the words "weigh" and "scale" on T-shirts for college-age women. "Negative body image" and "women" can probably be found under the same definition in Wikipedia. I had a roommate who hardly ate; but I consistently saw "Reese's" wrappings in our trash bin. When I confronted her, she confessed that she was bulimic. She was just one of the many incredible women I met that were shackled by the imposed image of another's scale -- parents; boyfriends; peer groups.

Ok. What about my scale? Have I let others weigh it? Most def! "The bigger boned one", "The heavier set one", "Big, like her dad's sisters." I've heard it all. And honestly, I accepted it. Even when I was thinner there was a "fat girl" warring to bust out. Then my sister got me to look back at my pictures up until my first pregnancy. I wasn't big at all!! All this time I had allowed others to define me, when the evidence was right in front of me! Ding-ding: the false image that I have been lugging around for the past 3 years has never been me!! It was time to wake up; get on that scale, see MY weight and face up to it.

The numbers were... well, you know...:). But let me tell you what my scale told me this week: that I have lost 14 pounds since mid-October. So, in less than one full month I am a third away from my goal weight!

So, what have I been doing? Calorie counting baby! I told you about my chocolate muffins and choc chip cookies...mm-hhmm... I got the skinny on one cookie: 370 calories! That's a whole meal!! I'm consuming 1,300 calories a day, which is 350 per meal and 250 for snacks. Yes, the first week was rough! But low fat plain yoghurt helped stave off the hunger. I write down every morsel I put in my mouth, helping keep me on track! For exercise: 45min-1hour of core 3x a week; running/walking/hiking min. 1 hour 6x a week. It's fun, challenging and oh so satisfying.

Step by step... My self worth is on MY scale now - and I like what it's telling me!

Moments

'First I was dying to finish my high school and start college;
And then I was dying to finish college and start working;
Then I was dying to marry and have children;
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work; But then I was dying to retire;
And now I am dying...
And suddenly I realized I forgot to live" Anonymous

Moments.

Ok, so I'm running or power walking up a hill and I let my mind wander -- thinner thighs; ohhh when will this be over; will I even make it; this is killing me...-- totally forgetting all the incredible glory around me! Then I realize: Hold up, where was I? Sleeping?

Sleep-running. Sleep-walking. Chasing after the big goal without taking in what is happening NOW.

Sometimes being awake, i.e. living for me is just breathing and "one foot in front of the other" is what I need. But I'm there. Present. Trudging uphill, but knowing that I am fully enriched and rewarded for sticking with it.

Today I ran in the rain. That focus is all it took...besides, Bono insisting, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, in my ear! Funny, I took faster steps everytime he reminded me of that! But I took it in. Step-by-step I rejoiced in the freedom and ability to be out there, running in the rain.

After hiking for about 6 miles with two lovely friends yesterday, I felt the same sense of satisfaction. In those moments I was able to take in the tiny, bright yellow flowers greeting the morning glory. Bono didn't have to remind me. EVERYTHING around me screamed it loud and clear!

OK, so I will be more beautiful, more satisfied, more fulfilled, a better wife, mother, friend, sister after I reach my goal weight right? To me, I would have missed the present moments that are the real transformation: persevering, impregnable, expanding beyond my comfort zone (climbing children's monkey bars - petrified but unharmed!!:)).

The ability to experience the beauty, satisfaction, fulfillment, wholeness is NOW. Because beneath all the fictitious layers I've lathered myself in (hhmm lather... batter...), I am still awesome. Today. And man, what fun to see myself stretch and commit. I saw that today. Now. I'm living it. And heck, I am Loving it.

Trailwalker

Paradigm Shifts

Ok, Paradigm shifts....

Last week I mentioned that this is when everything changes - in my case from driving a car as a means of transportation to walking. According to Allwords.com a paradigm is “a system of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality.”

So when this view of reality shifts do you adapt or hold on with all you got?

When it was suggested that the best way to lock in 3 miles = 5 kms was to walk to and from the ferry terminal from our apartment - I thought, Sure, doable.

I got dressed, put on my make-up, cute shoes & all and looked at my watch... 13 minutes. T o w a l k. “Take the bus”, my sweet, logical mind said. “You can’t be late.”

“But you’ve committed to changing your practices,” my hard-lined, clear thought countered.

OK, let’s do it.

Everything’s fine. I’m power-walking with my husband, who kindly accompanied me. Then I see the ferry... off in the distance... I have 5 mins left. And there’s what seems like an eternal stretch of sand in front of me.

“You can’t make it. Forget it.”
“Yes you can. Run maybe?”
Then my husband verbalizes it: We just have to run.

OK, there I go -- a red blur in sandals PANTING my way across the beach -- j u s t t r y i n g t o m a k e i t t o t h e p i e r...
Across seas of cool peeps chilling with their lattes I panted, grunted, sweated -- hubby clutching my hand for the last stretch. Then the clock said it all:

Time to departure: 00:02 mins

I couldn’t believe it! I had been convinced that this was a true mission impossible... (I’ll spare you my written rendition of the theme song!) But right there - not only was it possible, but I had 2 minutes to spare!!

I knew then that I had turned a corner. I’d made a total commitment to a health challenge from which there was no turning back. That even though some goals would seem impossible, they actually were attainable realities. My new reality. And I was in it. All in.

I ran 5 miles = 8 kms today. Yup, I’m all in.

Trailwalker